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“Christianity’s
Largest Minority Group” By Jake King Last week I read an interesting book called, “Why Men
Hate Going To Church,” written by David Murrow.
While I don’t agree with everything in the book, I did read a number of
insightful things: There are
more women in church than men. Thus Murrow cleverly refers to men as “Christianity’s
largest minority group.” Murrow
reports: “Figures from Census 2000 and a
study by Barna Research estimate a weekly gender gap of more than 13 million in
America’s churches: Adult
women in church 48,660,177 Adult
men in church 35,348,028 Gap
size 13,312,149 The U.S. Congregational Life Survey concurs: ‘While the Jesus
focused on men. Murrow points out that in most
churches (and I think this would include the ones I’m familiar with), the top
priority is on women and children (indicated by the number of programs and
activities for those groups). Yet, as
Murrow noted, Jesus took a different approach.
While Jesus did not overlook women (e.g., John 4) and children (e.g.,
Matthew 18:1-4), He clearly focused on men—12 men especially. And guess what? If we do the same we might win not only more
men, but also more women and children!
According to Murrow, “Here’s an oft-quoted statistic in men’s ministry
circles: when a mother comes to faith in Christ, the rest of the family follows
17 percent of the time. But when a
father comes to faith in Christ, the rest of the family follows 93 percent of
the time.” Promise men
danger. History shows that men are attracted
to danger. Now, have we forgotten or ignored that the Christianity that Jesus
preached was a dangerous adventure?
Jesus promised such things as getting arrested, being flogged, being
betrayed by your family, and, yes, even being killed (revisit passages like
Matthew 10:16-39). Jesus promised, “I
send you out as sheep in the midst of wolves” (Matthew 10:16 NASB). Likewise, Paul promised, “Indeed, all who
desire to live godly in Christ Jesus will be persecuted” (2 Timothy 3:12 NASB).
If we preach the dangerous mission that Jesus and the apostles preached, it
will attract men! Murrow tells the story
of a man named Randy: “Randy was a nominal churchgoer for many years, but never
really came alive in his faith until he went on a two-week mission trip to Present the
true Jesus, not the fake one we’re used to seeing. Bruce Barton speaks of the pictures of Jesus we’ve often
seen: “They have shown us a frail man, under-muscled with a soft face—a woman’s
face covered by a beard...” Murrow
points out, “no man wants to follow a feminized man,” and, “it’s time to
reacquaint ourselves with Christ the man.
Read your Bible. He’s there! Think of His physical power—a carpenter who
worked long days with primitive tools.”
Rather than being “feminine,” Murrow points out that Jesus “was
fearsome; the Bible says the disciples were ‘terrified’ of Him (Mark 4:41 NIV),
and ‘no one dared ask him any more questions’ (Mark 12:34 NIV). [...] Jesus
Christ is the most courageous, masculine man ever to walk the earth. But we’ve turned Him into a wimp. His manliness and toughness are seldom spoken
of, and men fall away because of it.
Present the Christ of Scripture, and men will be irresistibly drawn to
Him.” Preach with
conviction. A formerly unchurched man named Jorge
said, “I visited a few churches before I became a Christian. Man, some of them made me want to vomit! They didn’t show any more conviction about
their beliefs than I did.” Another man,
named Sean, speaks of a certain preacher, saying, “The first time I heard him,
I thought, this guy really believes this stuff.
I guess I really suprised Marilyn when I told her I wanted to go back
for another visit.” Murrow notes that
men want a preacher “who proclaims the gospel with boldness, unashamedly and
unapologetically, but without a harsh or condemning tone.” Personally, I think
one reason our brother Jimmy Allen has drawn such large crowds is because when
you hear him speak you believe that he really believes what he’s preaching. Don’t
unnecessarily make men uncomfortable in church.
Murrow
points out many, many things that churches do that make men feel
uncomfortable. For example, some
churches have very feminine decorations (flowers, pink, etc.). Then there are songs churches sing with
romantic lyrics to the Lord (e.g., “Jesus, lover of my soul, let me to Thy
bosom fly”). Then there are the
preachers who say stupid things like, “have a love affair with Jesus.” Then there’s holding hands and hugging. Murrow writes, “Worshippers are often asked
to hold hands with a neighbor. This
attempt to model Christian unity can be awkward for men, especially those
seated next to other men. (I’ve been a
churchgoer almost thirty years, and I’m still not wild about holding hands with
another guy, especially one I barely know.)
And certain churches are hug-rich environments. It’s one thing for very close friends to
embrace, but in some congregations it’s customary for relative strangers to
enfold. A lot of man-to-man hugging can
stir up fears of homosexuality.” Avoid the
increasing trend of female leadership in the church. Murrow writes, “The fact is, women will follow a man,
but few men will follow a woman unless they are forced. For instance, there are many men who coach
women’s basketball teams, but it’s very rare for a woman to coach a men’s team. Men follow female bosses, teachers, and
commanding officers only because they can be fired, flunked, or
court-marshalled. But given a choice,
men rarely follow female leadership. One
church I know experimented with all-female youth leadership; within six months
75 percent of the boys had disappeared.
...Dan Jarrell puts it like this, ‘When women lead, men leave.’ ...
Maybe this is one reason the Scripture presupposes male leadership in the
church” (cf. 1 Timothy 2:12 and 3:2, 12). |